Energetic Polarity
I frequently ask myself how I could have made a Scene better, hotter, more connected or even more intense. The question that comes up for me is, “What are the elements that make a scene work well?”One of the elements that place sexual dynamics into a Scene is the energetic polarity between the two players. Sexual attraction is that force of energy between the two poles of the Top and bottom, Dominant and submissive, male and female which causes sexual energy to begin to flow. This is kind of like a battery where electrical energy is created by flowing between the positive and negative terminals.
Generally speaking, people usually want to be either the energized actor or the receiver in a Scene or during sex. If you frequently want both things in a scene you may be a Switch. One of the good things about getting into BDSM is that very quickly any ‘false cloaking’ of authentic energy begins to drop away and dissolve so that real sexual energy can burn brightly. Most of us, quite frequently, cloak this energy in order to get along in the world or because our job requires a certain ‘kind of energy’ and, in so doing, we minimize this polar interaction with other people. This ‘cloaking mechanism’ then begins to mask the true nature of our sexual energy and we end up moving through life as an “actor in a play” rather than displaying our genuine sexual polarity.
What attracts the Top or bottom you might be seeking in a BDSM relationship, is the development of a brightly burning authentic energy which will create sexual dynamics in a Scene. Whenever I am scening with a Play Partner, I notice this polarity and begin to capitalize on it by allowing my energy to flow toward it. If I am unable to experience this polarity, the Scene may appear to have some connection and even be technically good or even excellent, however it will not have the sexual dynamics that makes a Scene bright, vibrant and intense for me.
Generally speaking, people usually want to be either the energized actor or the receiver in a Scene or during sex. If you frequently want both things in a scene you may be a Switch. One of the good things about getting into BDSM is that very quickly any ‘false cloaking’ of authentic energy begins to drop away and dissolve so that real sexual energy can burn brightly. Most of us, quite frequently, cloak this energy in order to get along in the world or because our job requires a certain ‘kind of energy’ and, in so doing, we minimize this polar interaction with other people. This ‘cloaking mechanism’ then begins to mask the true nature of our sexual energy and we end up moving through life as an “actor in a play” rather than displaying our genuine sexual polarity.
What attracts the Top or bottom you might be seeking in a BDSM relationship, is the development of a brightly burning authentic energy which will create sexual dynamics in a Scene. Whenever I am scening with a Play Partner, I notice this polarity and begin to capitalize on it by allowing my energy to flow toward it. If I am unable to experience this polarity, the Scene may appear to have some connection and even be technically good or even excellent, however it will not have the sexual dynamics that makes a Scene bright, vibrant and intense for me.
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